FAQs

Every bride wants the most important day of her life to be perfect!  So that your day can be perfect, we have compiled a list of some of the most frequently asked wedding questions.  Answers have been derived from authoritative sources on wedding etiquette.

Q:  Is it proper for the couple to speak at some point during the wedding reception? Should you prepare some remarks?

A:  Yes. Traditionally, the bride and groom speak at the reception.  Most couples speak immediately after the cake cutting, however, it can be done at any time.  You can prepare remarks if you want to share a specific story or anecdote, or you can just speak from the heart.

Q:  Is it proper to include information about gifts and/or the gift registry in with the invitation?

A:  No. Never include any reference to gifts or the registry in the invitation, unless you are requesting a ban on gifts or asking for charitable donations in lieu of gifts.  Even that information should be printed on a separate card, not directly on the invitation.   Guests, who want to know where you are registered, will contact you personally, your parents, or a member of the wedding party to find out.  Today, most couples have personal wedding websites and  it’s totally permissible to post where you are registered.

Q: Is it proper to use “and family” on invitation envelopes?

A:  No.  Separate invitations should be mailed to adult sons and daughters.  Small children’s names should be listed on the inner envelope with only first names under the parents’ names.

Q:  Does the number of attendants for the bride and groom have to match?

A:  Absolutely not and you should never invite someone you don’t want in the wedding party just to even out the numbers.  For aesthetic purposes, it’s better if the count is even on both sides; however, there are creative ways to structure the procession if the numbers are lopsided.  Two bridesmaids can walk down the aisle together, or if the aisle is wide enough, a groomsman can walk down with two bridesmaids or the best man can escort both the maid/matron of honor during the recessional.

Q: How do you handle RSVP stragglers?  Is it rude to call them up to inquire about their attendance?    

       And if you still haven’t heard, at what point, is it safe to assume they will not be attending?

A:  It is not rude to call stragglers the day after the response date ends.  Usually, the invitee will apologize profusely for not responding or tell you “I didn’t get it” (out of embarrassment).  If you do not receive a call back after two to three messages, it is safe to assume they will not be attending.  They are the ones who will be embarrassed if they show up and there’s no place for them at the reception.  If that happens, here’s where a good planner comes in.  Your planner will handle the situation, without you even knowing about it, and graciously find a seat for them.

Q:  Whose hand goes on top when cutting the wedding cake?

A:  The bride’s hand should be on the knife, with the groom’s hand over hers.  It is thought to be bad luck to interrupt the bride’s direct connection with the cake, which represents fertility.

Q: Should the officiating clergy be invited to the reception?

A:  Yes, along with his/her spouse or partner and should be seated at the parents’ table. 

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